10 Months & Counting

It’s coming up to a year since Craig’s first operation. Obviously not his first operation ever… this is my husband we are talking about. No, his first operation on his wrist. 12 months later he might as well have become a piece of the furniture. Since that first operation, he has been living at home for 10 months (including the month he took off for the wedding). Considering we were expecting him to deploy 2 weeks after we got married until Christmas, it wasn’t quite how we were expecting to spend our year.

Selfishly though it’s the best thing that could have happened in my eyes. For the record, I’m not some sadistic wife holding my husband captive.

I would never wish for him to be in pain, seeing him so completely debilitated, unable to sleep and not be able to do anything about it absolutely sucks. BUT. The past 10 months have been amazing. The simple things like coming home to someone instead of an empty house. Being able to talk to someone at 2 in the morning when you can’t sleep. Having someone there to look after you when you’re sick or make you breakfast when you’re mortally hungover. These are the small things that many others take for granted.

We have had a rare opportunity to spend our first 6 months of marriage together. Yes I am completely aware that as a married couple I now qualify to enter those armoured gates and take up residence on ‘The Patch’ - but this is the 21st Century and until I have kids, I have no plans to up sticks and follow my husband around.

I once got told by a CO’s wife that army marriages are destined to fail if the couple don’t spend their first year living together. Her theory lay behind the fact that you needed this time to work out ‘your normal’, to forge you into a united front and to push your relationship to new heights of love and companionship…. Well I don’t agree with this statement for the following reasons:

1. Many people are now living together before marriage so have learnt their spouses bad habits (tried to iron them out, given up and learnt to live with them)

2. Had enough arguments to last them a life time already

3. Worked out their own normal

Nevertheless, having spent the first 6 months with him, I can see a benefit to it. We have become closer than ever before and been given the opportunity to actually enjoy each other’s company without a timer ticking away in the background.

So the question I keep asking myself is, when or even if, he eventually goes back to work… Am I going to be able to adjust back to weekly single life? Or am I going to an emotional wreck, pining like a puppy at the back door?

(our little man)

GL

- x -

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